Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
