Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
