i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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