There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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