I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
