Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
You're like the curious george of whores
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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