We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
