i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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