did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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