weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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