You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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