Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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