he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
