READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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