To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Rumble strips road head = magical
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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