if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She even gives head with a lisp.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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