so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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