2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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