omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh god it's open bar.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
