shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I skipped work to stalk him.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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