$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
