great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
