Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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