also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
