Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
