Someone shit on the floor
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
