it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
