If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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