Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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