He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
