he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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