It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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