their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
