You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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