oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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