Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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