remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
