I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
