AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
