After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
