Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
