so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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