Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
