ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
