I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
