i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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