Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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