I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
