that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize