How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
