i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
